I don't think I have ever been so angry. or so misunderstood before....I am so frustrated, so....ugh idk...Lord I need your help. I tried to forgive and i tried to see where she was coming from...especially after i blew up...and i did apologize and i tried but her status about me was awful, and the lies...i just Lord i cannot be angry because it will ruin things for me....
I may be losing a friend Lord, but i guess that is what you want for me....
I love you Lord...help me stop with my anger i shouldn't have said anything in the first place and i wish i wouldn't have. my knee jerk reactions really suck...
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
4 days
Lord,
I have been so angry recently and I Do not know why. It is so frustrating to just have angry answers all the time, I do not know if its because I am stressed, or because I just want things to work out but Lord I am getting so flustered...I Am hurting Nick when he doesn't deserve to be hurt...Lord I just need your help to figure this out in me. I Do not want to be that person. Lord help me have the joy i once had in my life again.
I have been so angry recently and I Do not know why. It is so frustrating to just have angry answers all the time, I do not know if its because I am stressed, or because I just want things to work out but Lord I am getting so flustered...I Am hurting Nick when he doesn't deserve to be hurt...Lord I just need your help to figure this out in me. I Do not want to be that person. Lord help me have the joy i once had in my life again.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
25
Wow,
25 days until I marry my best friend! I cannot even....explain how excited I am Lord...my heart is almost in my chest and I am just so excited to see what you have in store for us. Lord we need jobs bad...it is running to the last minute, and i am getting a little nervous. God I know you have great things for us but it is so easy to forget who you are and the great things you are doing for us. Help me...remember you not just to be fake, and think that I am doing the right thing so its ok but Lord to really remember our relationship and put it first. before anything and everything.
Lord I lift up Sheils nana who may have advanced cancer. Lord no one wants to hear that word. It is a painful word that often leaves hope in the distance. God you are the healer and the great physician. i ask that you be with sheila and her nana while this is happening. that you remind them that whatever happens is in your hands and you are with them all through this. Lord i lift up all the other couples getting married or just getting engaged. God it can be such a stressful time but remind them how good you are to us.
Lord help me remember that you are number one regardless of what happens. its been really easy to put you the shelf while i do everything else.....
25 days until I marry my best friend! I cannot even....explain how excited I am Lord...my heart is almost in my chest and I am just so excited to see what you have in store for us. Lord we need jobs bad...it is running to the last minute, and i am getting a little nervous. God I know you have great things for us but it is so easy to forget who you are and the great things you are doing for us. Help me...remember you not just to be fake, and think that I am doing the right thing so its ok but Lord to really remember our relationship and put it first. before anything and everything.
Lord I lift up Sheils nana who may have advanced cancer. Lord no one wants to hear that word. It is a painful word that often leaves hope in the distance. God you are the healer and the great physician. i ask that you be with sheila and her nana while this is happening. that you remind them that whatever happens is in your hands and you are with them all through this. Lord i lift up all the other couples getting married or just getting engaged. God it can be such a stressful time but remind them how good you are to us.
Lord help me remember that you are number one regardless of what happens. its been really easy to put you the shelf while i do everything else.....
Friday, May 16, 2014
Say Amen
Lord,
my heart is so burdened right now...so much going on, and I am just asking you to be with everyone who is struggling right now. with my Sister, and with Bekah, and with everyone who just doesn't know what's going on, and doesn't want to hear bad news. Lord..I know we can't change whats happened but i am asking you to keep my sister in peace, and my mom regardless of what is going on with that little miracle in her tummy. my heart breaks thinking that we lost a little one. but so many people have gone through this pain, allow me to be there for my family if this i what happened. I trust you Lord, I know you do things for a reason but this one is really hard....I am asking for guidance for my friend that she would just follow you, and really be in love with you first. God i am so hurting for my friends, and just the fact that it isnt easy to follow the things of you..we want to go our own way so many times, and thats not the way it should be... ugh
my heart is so burdened right now...so much going on, and I am just asking you to be with everyone who is struggling right now. with my Sister, and with Bekah, and with everyone who just doesn't know what's going on, and doesn't want to hear bad news. Lord..I know we can't change whats happened but i am asking you to keep my sister in peace, and my mom regardless of what is going on with that little miracle in her tummy. my heart breaks thinking that we lost a little one. but so many people have gone through this pain, allow me to be there for my family if this i what happened. I trust you Lord, I know you do things for a reason but this one is really hard....I am asking for guidance for my friend that she would just follow you, and really be in love with you first. God i am so hurting for my friends, and just the fact that it isnt easy to follow the things of you..we want to go our own way so many times, and thats not the way it should be... ugh
Saturday, May 10, 2014
51
Lord,
Thank you so much for this day, thank you for allowing me to drive, and keeping us safe while i did that. Lord i just want to lift up gg's brother.
Thank you so much for this day, thank you for allowing me to drive, and keeping us safe while i did that. Lord i just want to lift up gg's brother.
49
First of all Lord, I just want to say thank you so much for answering our prayers. Thank you so much for giving us this house when we thought there was no way this was going to work out for us. You have blown my mind and I am just so thankful that we can trust you with our future, with our lives.
Lord i just want to lift up the teen group. It's such an amazing opportunity to work with both of them, and I am amazed at what you are doing in it. Lord I ask that you would just prick the teens hearts. That they would be serious about what they are learning. That they wouldnt come just for the friends, or just to hang out..but they would go because they want to grow closer to you.
I lift up tomorrow to you Lord. There are a lot of people without moms who are really struggling...I pray that you would give them peace, I also pray for the people who are supposed to be mothers but they are not. that you would give them a special hug.
Lord I just pray for the church. that you would convict the pastors of this nation to preach the truth of the gospel. not that baptism is the same as salvation, not that you have to do anything else...but Lord that Trusting you alone is what gets you to heaven...
My heart is so heavy with so many things, and I am so thankful that you have the answers to what I am looking for. Bless Nicholas and I as we continue planning the wedding that we would see eachother in it the whole time.
Thank you for this day Lord
Lord i just want to lift up the teen group. It's such an amazing opportunity to work with both of them, and I am amazed at what you are doing in it. Lord I ask that you would just prick the teens hearts. That they would be serious about what they are learning. That they wouldnt come just for the friends, or just to hang out..but they would go because they want to grow closer to you.
I lift up tomorrow to you Lord. There are a lot of people without moms who are really struggling...I pray that you would give them peace, I also pray for the people who are supposed to be mothers but they are not. that you would give them a special hug.
Lord I just pray for the church. that you would convict the pastors of this nation to preach the truth of the gospel. not that baptism is the same as salvation, not that you have to do anything else...but Lord that Trusting you alone is what gets you to heaven...
My heart is so heavy with so many things, and I am so thankful that you have the answers to what I am looking for. Bless Nicholas and I as we continue planning the wedding that we would see eachother in it the whole time.
Thank you for this day Lord
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
52
Lord,
I am frustrated.....
I don't know if it's the right way to be feeling, but I am...I just want my wedding to work out.. I want people to try for me but even on my biggest day some would say...people are still just thinking about them......How do i react when all i want to do is scream. because I Will never be able to make everyone happy.The wedding isn't where they want, it's not when they want or how they want....they aren't wearing what they want people to wear and...it isn't exactly how it should be in their eyes....uggh Lord i just want to know what to do in this circumstance. I don't know what to do and i dont know howto go bout doing it...but LOrd I am going to trust that you have all the wisdom in this and are going to help me.
Help me Lord with all of the planning that needs to happen,and help me to have knowledge in what is wise to do, and what is not wise to do. Help me encourage people when I can, and decide how to do the things that need to be done. Mostly remind me that regardless of what happens in the end if you are glorified and we are married nothing else needs to happen!
It's so easy to forget that when you are in the midst of frustration. Lord help me realize that I need to trust you when i feel like no one cares, that my mom doesn't give a crap and everyone is just going out of obligation. I hate feeling like this and the self pity just may kill me....
Help me trust you...help me know that you are the one who satisfies...
Lord help Nicholas, he is so discouraged right now about our future. We don't know where we are going to live, and we don't know what is going to happen and that is so hard for him. Lord help us figure out what we can do to make the process faster, and make the process what you would like it to be. I am having a weird peace about it..but maybe that is ignorance. I just ask Lord that you would show nicholas you have everything in time and that You are WORTH trusting
i love you Lord
I am frustrated.....
I don't know if it's the right way to be feeling, but I am...I just want my wedding to work out.. I want people to try for me but even on my biggest day some would say...people are still just thinking about them......How do i react when all i want to do is scream. because I Will never be able to make everyone happy.The wedding isn't where they want, it's not when they want or how they want....they aren't wearing what they want people to wear and...it isn't exactly how it should be in their eyes....uggh Lord i just want to know what to do in this circumstance. I don't know what to do and i dont know howto go bout doing it...but LOrd I am going to trust that you have all the wisdom in this and are going to help me.
Help me Lord with all of the planning that needs to happen,and help me to have knowledge in what is wise to do, and what is not wise to do. Help me encourage people when I can, and decide how to do the things that need to be done. Mostly remind me that regardless of what happens in the end if you are glorified and we are married nothing else needs to happen!
It's so easy to forget that when you are in the midst of frustration. Lord help me realize that I need to trust you when i feel like no one cares, that my mom doesn't give a crap and everyone is just going out of obligation. I hate feeling like this and the self pity just may kill me....
Help me trust you...help me know that you are the one who satisfies...
Lord help Nicholas, he is so discouraged right now about our future. We don't know where we are going to live, and we don't know what is going to happen and that is so hard for him. Lord help us figure out what we can do to make the process faster, and make the process what you would like it to be. I am having a weird peace about it..but maybe that is ignorance. I just ask Lord that you would show nicholas you have everything in time and that You are WORTH trusting
i love you Lord
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