Lord,
my heart is so burdened right now...so much going on, and I am just asking you to be with everyone who is struggling right now. with my Sister, and with Bekah, and with everyone who just doesn't know what's going on, and doesn't want to hear bad news. Lord..I know we can't change whats happened but i am asking you to keep my sister in peace, and my mom regardless of what is going on with that little miracle in her tummy. my heart breaks thinking that we lost a little one. but so many people have gone through this pain, allow me to be there for my family if this i what happened. I trust you Lord, I know you do things for a reason but this one is really hard....I am asking for guidance for my friend that she would just follow you, and really be in love with you first. God i am so hurting for my friends, and just the fact that it isnt easy to follow the things of you..we want to go our own way so many times, and thats not the way it should be... ugh
Friday, May 16, 2014
Saturday, May 10, 2014
51
Lord,
Thank you so much for this day, thank you for allowing me to drive, and keeping us safe while i did that. Lord i just want to lift up gg's brother.
Thank you so much for this day, thank you for allowing me to drive, and keeping us safe while i did that. Lord i just want to lift up gg's brother.
49
First of all Lord, I just want to say thank you so much for answering our prayers. Thank you so much for giving us this house when we thought there was no way this was going to work out for us. You have blown my mind and I am just so thankful that we can trust you with our future, with our lives.
Lord i just want to lift up the teen group. It's such an amazing opportunity to work with both of them, and I am amazed at what you are doing in it. Lord I ask that you would just prick the teens hearts. That they would be serious about what they are learning. That they wouldnt come just for the friends, or just to hang out..but they would go because they want to grow closer to you.
I lift up tomorrow to you Lord. There are a lot of people without moms who are really struggling...I pray that you would give them peace, I also pray for the people who are supposed to be mothers but they are not. that you would give them a special hug.
Lord I just pray for the church. that you would convict the pastors of this nation to preach the truth of the gospel. not that baptism is the same as salvation, not that you have to do anything else...but Lord that Trusting you alone is what gets you to heaven...
My heart is so heavy with so many things, and I am so thankful that you have the answers to what I am looking for. Bless Nicholas and I as we continue planning the wedding that we would see eachother in it the whole time.
Thank you for this day Lord
Lord i just want to lift up the teen group. It's such an amazing opportunity to work with both of them, and I am amazed at what you are doing in it. Lord I ask that you would just prick the teens hearts. That they would be serious about what they are learning. That they wouldnt come just for the friends, or just to hang out..but they would go because they want to grow closer to you.
I lift up tomorrow to you Lord. There are a lot of people without moms who are really struggling...I pray that you would give them peace, I also pray for the people who are supposed to be mothers but they are not. that you would give them a special hug.
Lord I just pray for the church. that you would convict the pastors of this nation to preach the truth of the gospel. not that baptism is the same as salvation, not that you have to do anything else...but Lord that Trusting you alone is what gets you to heaven...
My heart is so heavy with so many things, and I am so thankful that you have the answers to what I am looking for. Bless Nicholas and I as we continue planning the wedding that we would see eachother in it the whole time.
Thank you for this day Lord
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
52
Lord,
I am frustrated.....
I don't know if it's the right way to be feeling, but I am...I just want my wedding to work out.. I want people to try for me but even on my biggest day some would say...people are still just thinking about them......How do i react when all i want to do is scream. because I Will never be able to make everyone happy.The wedding isn't where they want, it's not when they want or how they want....they aren't wearing what they want people to wear and...it isn't exactly how it should be in their eyes....uggh Lord i just want to know what to do in this circumstance. I don't know what to do and i dont know howto go bout doing it...but LOrd I am going to trust that you have all the wisdom in this and are going to help me.
Help me Lord with all of the planning that needs to happen,and help me to have knowledge in what is wise to do, and what is not wise to do. Help me encourage people when I can, and decide how to do the things that need to be done. Mostly remind me that regardless of what happens in the end if you are glorified and we are married nothing else needs to happen!
It's so easy to forget that when you are in the midst of frustration. Lord help me realize that I need to trust you when i feel like no one cares, that my mom doesn't give a crap and everyone is just going out of obligation. I hate feeling like this and the self pity just may kill me....
Help me trust you...help me know that you are the one who satisfies...
Lord help Nicholas, he is so discouraged right now about our future. We don't know where we are going to live, and we don't know what is going to happen and that is so hard for him. Lord help us figure out what we can do to make the process faster, and make the process what you would like it to be. I am having a weird peace about it..but maybe that is ignorance. I just ask Lord that you would show nicholas you have everything in time and that You are WORTH trusting
i love you Lord
I am frustrated.....
I don't know if it's the right way to be feeling, but I am...I just want my wedding to work out.. I want people to try for me but even on my biggest day some would say...people are still just thinking about them......How do i react when all i want to do is scream. because I Will never be able to make everyone happy.The wedding isn't where they want, it's not when they want or how they want....they aren't wearing what they want people to wear and...it isn't exactly how it should be in their eyes....uggh Lord i just want to know what to do in this circumstance. I don't know what to do and i dont know howto go bout doing it...but LOrd I am going to trust that you have all the wisdom in this and are going to help me.
Help me Lord with all of the planning that needs to happen,and help me to have knowledge in what is wise to do, and what is not wise to do. Help me encourage people when I can, and decide how to do the things that need to be done. Mostly remind me that regardless of what happens in the end if you are glorified and we are married nothing else needs to happen!
It's so easy to forget that when you are in the midst of frustration. Lord help me realize that I need to trust you when i feel like no one cares, that my mom doesn't give a crap and everyone is just going out of obligation. I hate feeling like this and the self pity just may kill me....
Help me trust you...help me know that you are the one who satisfies...
Lord help Nicholas, he is so discouraged right now about our future. We don't know where we are going to live, and we don't know what is going to happen and that is so hard for him. Lord help us figure out what we can do to make the process faster, and make the process what you would like it to be. I am having a weird peace about it..but maybe that is ignorance. I just ask Lord that you would show nicholas you have everything in time and that You are WORTH trusting
i love you Lord
Saturday, May 3, 2014
blow me away
Lord,
I cannot even begin to describe how you have blown me away...You took a day I was sure everything in my life was going to crumble, and you made it a day to worship you. I cannot begin to thank you enough for that. I am so lost in the fact that you could love someone like me, and allow me to find love in this life. I am such a fool, and wanted to live my own life and you gave up your life for me...thank you so much.
God so much is going on but i just have so much thanks today..it could have gone so many other ways and you protected me, and allowed my love to show his grace, and forgiveness through you..instead of anger, which i am sure would have been 100 times easier.
Lord we don't know whats going to happen, and it can get so frustrating but i thank you for what we do know. we know we have a God who loves us, and someone who is there for us at all times. Lord i just lift up Nicholas to you. that you would continue to encourage him. He needs all of the encouragement he can get. especially being engaged to me, Lord I just ask that you would give us wisdom, and give us peace about whats going on..that we would continue to live for you even when we dont know what the heck is going on...I feel like ive been praying this over and over but its so true, and so important. I also ask Lord you would just continue to give me the desire to get into your word. to be able to be a light where there is darkness. sometimes that desire seems so small and i need to fight through that to be what Nicholas needs me to be and most importantly what you have me to be.
Thank you Lord for the cross...and thank you for providing what we need every moment of every day.
I cannot even begin to describe how you have blown me away...You took a day I was sure everything in my life was going to crumble, and you made it a day to worship you. I cannot begin to thank you enough for that. I am so lost in the fact that you could love someone like me, and allow me to find love in this life. I am such a fool, and wanted to live my own life and you gave up your life for me...thank you so much.
God so much is going on but i just have so much thanks today..it could have gone so many other ways and you protected me, and allowed my love to show his grace, and forgiveness through you..instead of anger, which i am sure would have been 100 times easier.
Lord we don't know whats going to happen, and it can get so frustrating but i thank you for what we do know. we know we have a God who loves us, and someone who is there for us at all times. Lord i just lift up Nicholas to you. that you would continue to encourage him. He needs all of the encouragement he can get. especially being engaged to me, Lord I just ask that you would give us wisdom, and give us peace about whats going on..that we would continue to live for you even when we dont know what the heck is going on...I feel like ive been praying this over and over but its so true, and so important. I also ask Lord you would just continue to give me the desire to get into your word. to be able to be a light where there is darkness. sometimes that desire seems so small and i need to fight through that to be what Nicholas needs me to be and most importantly what you have me to be.
Thank you Lord for the cross...and thank you for providing what we need every moment of every day.
help
Lord I need you here with me right now! I am scared...and I do not want to do what I need to do. the consequences seem so much bigger then the "pay off" of doing the right thing...I can't tell if i will throw up or just cry...but Lord...I need to do this. I am sick of living like this without the truth being there...I need this in our life....
Help me Lord I want to do this right but I do not want to ruin anything...but i may have already...
Help me understand and take the consequences as they come, and trust that regardless of what happens you still have whats best for me in mind. and you want to grow me even in the pain.
im so scared...
Help me Lord I want to do this right but I do not want to ruin anything...but i may have already...
Help me understand and take the consequences as they come, and trust that regardless of what happens you still have whats best for me in mind. and you want to grow me even in the pain.
im so scared...
Friday, May 2, 2014
56 days
Lord,
thank you so much for this day that has gone by...thank you for giving me challenges and reminding me what you have for me in this life. So many things have been going on, and changing, and lord i dont know whats going on but i am so thankful that you do.
Forgive me Lord for not being jealous about being in your word. I am letting other things fall in the way and that is going to stop. thank you so much for convicting me of that because i know it wasn't me...help my attitude with everything Lord...i feel so frustrated, and depressed lately but i know there is no reason for it! You take such good care of us that I KNOW you have it all under control. I ask that you would just give Nicholas and I wisdom as we decide on the next steps you have given us, that you show us perfectly where we fit, and that it would be a smooth transition.
Help us not worry about everything , especially when it seems so easy to do so. Lord I lift up Nicholas. I know that he is even more burdened then I about this. I ask that you would give him peace, and strength to know that you are there for him! That you have him under your wing and that you are growing him through this time of questioning, and seemingly quietness from heaven. Lord help us be right in living for you. to stay pure and to be an example to the teens and the others we have in our lives who are searching for you. I want so badly to get out of this lull and to go back to what I know you have. Lord I want to be a good pastors wife, and i want to be an encouragement to my fiance. I feel like i am such a failure at that... How can i be good at it if i am not getting any encouragement from your word? Lord help me to stand on your feet when it comes to this, and not try to think that my relationship with you is good just because Nicholas prays for us...I need to be lifting us up, i need to be lifting our future up...
It's been a long time coming lord this conviction has been hiting me and i pray it would hit me everyday that I would be in your word wanting it more and more as i become a wife soon, and then lord prayerfully a mother shortly after that...You have all of this in your will and I am excited to see what you have for us. Lord i am truthfully wondering what is going to happen, but i just keep going back to the fact you have never let us down before and i trust you wont let us down now.
Lord i just want to lift up my sister as she just found out she is expecting. Lord how exciting it is that i will have another neice or nephew. i cannot WAIT to see what she is going to have. Lord i pray that you would keep mommy and baby safe, that you would allow rachel to love her body and see that this is a gift from you Lord.
I also pray for the rest of the family. Elijah, cat, and elias Lord that they would have someone in their life that would show them you. It is so important and i wish i was there more often. Lord give me opportunity to share my testimony. to be truthful about what you have done in my life.
God i am so sick of being a fake person, of pretending our relationship is fine, when i feel so far from you. lies dont help if they grow people because its still a lie... help me figure out where I am and how i need to change..
Thank you Lord for always being there ..regardless of how alone i feel I know i am not because you are near. (Even when thats hard because i know im an idiot) ...
I love you Lord. Thank you so much for all the blessings you have put in my life. I cannot thank you enough for Nicholas, and this new family i will be going into....I am amazed at the life you have planned for me...
Thank you again!
thank you so much for this day that has gone by...thank you for giving me challenges and reminding me what you have for me in this life. So many things have been going on, and changing, and lord i dont know whats going on but i am so thankful that you do.
Forgive me Lord for not being jealous about being in your word. I am letting other things fall in the way and that is going to stop. thank you so much for convicting me of that because i know it wasn't me...help my attitude with everything Lord...i feel so frustrated, and depressed lately but i know there is no reason for it! You take such good care of us that I KNOW you have it all under control. I ask that you would just give Nicholas and I wisdom as we decide on the next steps you have given us, that you show us perfectly where we fit, and that it would be a smooth transition.
Help us not worry about everything , especially when it seems so easy to do so. Lord I lift up Nicholas. I know that he is even more burdened then I about this. I ask that you would give him peace, and strength to know that you are there for him! That you have him under your wing and that you are growing him through this time of questioning, and seemingly quietness from heaven. Lord help us be right in living for you. to stay pure and to be an example to the teens and the others we have in our lives who are searching for you. I want so badly to get out of this lull and to go back to what I know you have. Lord I want to be a good pastors wife, and i want to be an encouragement to my fiance. I feel like i am such a failure at that... How can i be good at it if i am not getting any encouragement from your word? Lord help me to stand on your feet when it comes to this, and not try to think that my relationship with you is good just because Nicholas prays for us...I need to be lifting us up, i need to be lifting our future up...
It's been a long time coming lord this conviction has been hiting me and i pray it would hit me everyday that I would be in your word wanting it more and more as i become a wife soon, and then lord prayerfully a mother shortly after that...You have all of this in your will and I am excited to see what you have for us. Lord i am truthfully wondering what is going to happen, but i just keep going back to the fact you have never let us down before and i trust you wont let us down now.
Lord i just want to lift up my sister as she just found out she is expecting. Lord how exciting it is that i will have another neice or nephew. i cannot WAIT to see what she is going to have. Lord i pray that you would keep mommy and baby safe, that you would allow rachel to love her body and see that this is a gift from you Lord.
I also pray for the rest of the family. Elijah, cat, and elias Lord that they would have someone in their life that would show them you. It is so important and i wish i was there more often. Lord give me opportunity to share my testimony. to be truthful about what you have done in my life.
God i am so sick of being a fake person, of pretending our relationship is fine, when i feel so far from you. lies dont help if they grow people because its still a lie... help me figure out where I am and how i need to change..
Thank you Lord for always being there ..regardless of how alone i feel I know i am not because you are near. (Even when thats hard because i know im an idiot) ...
I love you Lord. Thank you so much for all the blessings you have put in my life. I cannot thank you enough for Nicholas, and this new family i will be going into....I am amazed at the life you have planned for me...
Thank you again!
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