I don't think I have ever been so angry. or so misunderstood before....I am so frustrated, so....ugh idk...Lord I need your help. I tried to forgive and i tried to see where she was coming from...especially after i blew up...and i did apologize and i tried but her status about me was awful, and the lies...i just Lord i cannot be angry because it will ruin things for me....
I may be losing a friend Lord, but i guess that is what you want for me....
I love you Lord...help me stop with my anger i shouldn't have said anything in the first place and i wish i wouldn't have. my knee jerk reactions really suck...
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
4 days
Lord,
I have been so angry recently and I Do not know why. It is so frustrating to just have angry answers all the time, I do not know if its because I am stressed, or because I just want things to work out but Lord I am getting so flustered...I Am hurting Nick when he doesn't deserve to be hurt...Lord I just need your help to figure this out in me. I Do not want to be that person. Lord help me have the joy i once had in my life again.
I have been so angry recently and I Do not know why. It is so frustrating to just have angry answers all the time, I do not know if its because I am stressed, or because I just want things to work out but Lord I am getting so flustered...I Am hurting Nick when he doesn't deserve to be hurt...Lord I just need your help to figure this out in me. I Do not want to be that person. Lord help me have the joy i once had in my life again.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
25
Wow,
25 days until I marry my best friend! I cannot even....explain how excited I am Lord...my heart is almost in my chest and I am just so excited to see what you have in store for us. Lord we need jobs bad...it is running to the last minute, and i am getting a little nervous. God I know you have great things for us but it is so easy to forget who you are and the great things you are doing for us. Help me...remember you not just to be fake, and think that I am doing the right thing so its ok but Lord to really remember our relationship and put it first. before anything and everything.
Lord I lift up Sheils nana who may have advanced cancer. Lord no one wants to hear that word. It is a painful word that often leaves hope in the distance. God you are the healer and the great physician. i ask that you be with sheila and her nana while this is happening. that you remind them that whatever happens is in your hands and you are with them all through this. Lord i lift up all the other couples getting married or just getting engaged. God it can be such a stressful time but remind them how good you are to us.
Lord help me remember that you are number one regardless of what happens. its been really easy to put you the shelf while i do everything else.....
25 days until I marry my best friend! I cannot even....explain how excited I am Lord...my heart is almost in my chest and I am just so excited to see what you have in store for us. Lord we need jobs bad...it is running to the last minute, and i am getting a little nervous. God I know you have great things for us but it is so easy to forget who you are and the great things you are doing for us. Help me...remember you not just to be fake, and think that I am doing the right thing so its ok but Lord to really remember our relationship and put it first. before anything and everything.
Lord I lift up Sheils nana who may have advanced cancer. Lord no one wants to hear that word. It is a painful word that often leaves hope in the distance. God you are the healer and the great physician. i ask that you be with sheila and her nana while this is happening. that you remind them that whatever happens is in your hands and you are with them all through this. Lord i lift up all the other couples getting married or just getting engaged. God it can be such a stressful time but remind them how good you are to us.
Lord help me remember that you are number one regardless of what happens. its been really easy to put you the shelf while i do everything else.....
Friday, May 16, 2014
Say Amen
Lord,
my heart is so burdened right now...so much going on, and I am just asking you to be with everyone who is struggling right now. with my Sister, and with Bekah, and with everyone who just doesn't know what's going on, and doesn't want to hear bad news. Lord..I know we can't change whats happened but i am asking you to keep my sister in peace, and my mom regardless of what is going on with that little miracle in her tummy. my heart breaks thinking that we lost a little one. but so many people have gone through this pain, allow me to be there for my family if this i what happened. I trust you Lord, I know you do things for a reason but this one is really hard....I am asking for guidance for my friend that she would just follow you, and really be in love with you first. God i am so hurting for my friends, and just the fact that it isnt easy to follow the things of you..we want to go our own way so many times, and thats not the way it should be... ugh
my heart is so burdened right now...so much going on, and I am just asking you to be with everyone who is struggling right now. with my Sister, and with Bekah, and with everyone who just doesn't know what's going on, and doesn't want to hear bad news. Lord..I know we can't change whats happened but i am asking you to keep my sister in peace, and my mom regardless of what is going on with that little miracle in her tummy. my heart breaks thinking that we lost a little one. but so many people have gone through this pain, allow me to be there for my family if this i what happened. I trust you Lord, I know you do things for a reason but this one is really hard....I am asking for guidance for my friend that she would just follow you, and really be in love with you first. God i am so hurting for my friends, and just the fact that it isnt easy to follow the things of you..we want to go our own way so many times, and thats not the way it should be... ugh
Saturday, May 10, 2014
51
Lord,
Thank you so much for this day, thank you for allowing me to drive, and keeping us safe while i did that. Lord i just want to lift up gg's brother.
Thank you so much for this day, thank you for allowing me to drive, and keeping us safe while i did that. Lord i just want to lift up gg's brother.
49
First of all Lord, I just want to say thank you so much for answering our prayers. Thank you so much for giving us this house when we thought there was no way this was going to work out for us. You have blown my mind and I am just so thankful that we can trust you with our future, with our lives.
Lord i just want to lift up the teen group. It's such an amazing opportunity to work with both of them, and I am amazed at what you are doing in it. Lord I ask that you would just prick the teens hearts. That they would be serious about what they are learning. That they wouldnt come just for the friends, or just to hang out..but they would go because they want to grow closer to you.
I lift up tomorrow to you Lord. There are a lot of people without moms who are really struggling...I pray that you would give them peace, I also pray for the people who are supposed to be mothers but they are not. that you would give them a special hug.
Lord I just pray for the church. that you would convict the pastors of this nation to preach the truth of the gospel. not that baptism is the same as salvation, not that you have to do anything else...but Lord that Trusting you alone is what gets you to heaven...
My heart is so heavy with so many things, and I am so thankful that you have the answers to what I am looking for. Bless Nicholas and I as we continue planning the wedding that we would see eachother in it the whole time.
Thank you for this day Lord
Lord i just want to lift up the teen group. It's such an amazing opportunity to work with both of them, and I am amazed at what you are doing in it. Lord I ask that you would just prick the teens hearts. That they would be serious about what they are learning. That they wouldnt come just for the friends, or just to hang out..but they would go because they want to grow closer to you.
I lift up tomorrow to you Lord. There are a lot of people without moms who are really struggling...I pray that you would give them peace, I also pray for the people who are supposed to be mothers but they are not. that you would give them a special hug.
Lord I just pray for the church. that you would convict the pastors of this nation to preach the truth of the gospel. not that baptism is the same as salvation, not that you have to do anything else...but Lord that Trusting you alone is what gets you to heaven...
My heart is so heavy with so many things, and I am so thankful that you have the answers to what I am looking for. Bless Nicholas and I as we continue planning the wedding that we would see eachother in it the whole time.
Thank you for this day Lord
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
52
Lord,
I am frustrated.....
I don't know if it's the right way to be feeling, but I am...I just want my wedding to work out.. I want people to try for me but even on my biggest day some would say...people are still just thinking about them......How do i react when all i want to do is scream. because I Will never be able to make everyone happy.The wedding isn't where they want, it's not when they want or how they want....they aren't wearing what they want people to wear and...it isn't exactly how it should be in their eyes....uggh Lord i just want to know what to do in this circumstance. I don't know what to do and i dont know howto go bout doing it...but LOrd I am going to trust that you have all the wisdom in this and are going to help me.
Help me Lord with all of the planning that needs to happen,and help me to have knowledge in what is wise to do, and what is not wise to do. Help me encourage people when I can, and decide how to do the things that need to be done. Mostly remind me that regardless of what happens in the end if you are glorified and we are married nothing else needs to happen!
It's so easy to forget that when you are in the midst of frustration. Lord help me realize that I need to trust you when i feel like no one cares, that my mom doesn't give a crap and everyone is just going out of obligation. I hate feeling like this and the self pity just may kill me....
Help me trust you...help me know that you are the one who satisfies...
Lord help Nicholas, he is so discouraged right now about our future. We don't know where we are going to live, and we don't know what is going to happen and that is so hard for him. Lord help us figure out what we can do to make the process faster, and make the process what you would like it to be. I am having a weird peace about it..but maybe that is ignorance. I just ask Lord that you would show nicholas you have everything in time and that You are WORTH trusting
i love you Lord
I am frustrated.....
I don't know if it's the right way to be feeling, but I am...I just want my wedding to work out.. I want people to try for me but even on my biggest day some would say...people are still just thinking about them......How do i react when all i want to do is scream. because I Will never be able to make everyone happy.The wedding isn't where they want, it's not when they want or how they want....they aren't wearing what they want people to wear and...it isn't exactly how it should be in their eyes....uggh Lord i just want to know what to do in this circumstance. I don't know what to do and i dont know howto go bout doing it...but LOrd I am going to trust that you have all the wisdom in this and are going to help me.
Help me Lord with all of the planning that needs to happen,and help me to have knowledge in what is wise to do, and what is not wise to do. Help me encourage people when I can, and decide how to do the things that need to be done. Mostly remind me that regardless of what happens in the end if you are glorified and we are married nothing else needs to happen!
It's so easy to forget that when you are in the midst of frustration. Lord help me realize that I need to trust you when i feel like no one cares, that my mom doesn't give a crap and everyone is just going out of obligation. I hate feeling like this and the self pity just may kill me....
Help me trust you...help me know that you are the one who satisfies...
Lord help Nicholas, he is so discouraged right now about our future. We don't know where we are going to live, and we don't know what is going to happen and that is so hard for him. Lord help us figure out what we can do to make the process faster, and make the process what you would like it to be. I am having a weird peace about it..but maybe that is ignorance. I just ask Lord that you would show nicholas you have everything in time and that You are WORTH trusting
i love you Lord
Saturday, May 3, 2014
blow me away
Lord,
I cannot even begin to describe how you have blown me away...You took a day I was sure everything in my life was going to crumble, and you made it a day to worship you. I cannot begin to thank you enough for that. I am so lost in the fact that you could love someone like me, and allow me to find love in this life. I am such a fool, and wanted to live my own life and you gave up your life for me...thank you so much.
God so much is going on but i just have so much thanks today..it could have gone so many other ways and you protected me, and allowed my love to show his grace, and forgiveness through you..instead of anger, which i am sure would have been 100 times easier.
Lord we don't know whats going to happen, and it can get so frustrating but i thank you for what we do know. we know we have a God who loves us, and someone who is there for us at all times. Lord i just lift up Nicholas to you. that you would continue to encourage him. He needs all of the encouragement he can get. especially being engaged to me, Lord I just ask that you would give us wisdom, and give us peace about whats going on..that we would continue to live for you even when we dont know what the heck is going on...I feel like ive been praying this over and over but its so true, and so important. I also ask Lord you would just continue to give me the desire to get into your word. to be able to be a light where there is darkness. sometimes that desire seems so small and i need to fight through that to be what Nicholas needs me to be and most importantly what you have me to be.
Thank you Lord for the cross...and thank you for providing what we need every moment of every day.
I cannot even begin to describe how you have blown me away...You took a day I was sure everything in my life was going to crumble, and you made it a day to worship you. I cannot begin to thank you enough for that. I am so lost in the fact that you could love someone like me, and allow me to find love in this life. I am such a fool, and wanted to live my own life and you gave up your life for me...thank you so much.
God so much is going on but i just have so much thanks today..it could have gone so many other ways and you protected me, and allowed my love to show his grace, and forgiveness through you..instead of anger, which i am sure would have been 100 times easier.
Lord we don't know whats going to happen, and it can get so frustrating but i thank you for what we do know. we know we have a God who loves us, and someone who is there for us at all times. Lord i just lift up Nicholas to you. that you would continue to encourage him. He needs all of the encouragement he can get. especially being engaged to me, Lord I just ask that you would give us wisdom, and give us peace about whats going on..that we would continue to live for you even when we dont know what the heck is going on...I feel like ive been praying this over and over but its so true, and so important. I also ask Lord you would just continue to give me the desire to get into your word. to be able to be a light where there is darkness. sometimes that desire seems so small and i need to fight through that to be what Nicholas needs me to be and most importantly what you have me to be.
Thank you Lord for the cross...and thank you for providing what we need every moment of every day.
help
Lord I need you here with me right now! I am scared...and I do not want to do what I need to do. the consequences seem so much bigger then the "pay off" of doing the right thing...I can't tell if i will throw up or just cry...but Lord...I need to do this. I am sick of living like this without the truth being there...I need this in our life....
Help me Lord I want to do this right but I do not want to ruin anything...but i may have already...
Help me understand and take the consequences as they come, and trust that regardless of what happens you still have whats best for me in mind. and you want to grow me even in the pain.
im so scared...
Help me Lord I want to do this right but I do not want to ruin anything...but i may have already...
Help me understand and take the consequences as they come, and trust that regardless of what happens you still have whats best for me in mind. and you want to grow me even in the pain.
im so scared...
Friday, May 2, 2014
56 days
Lord,
thank you so much for this day that has gone by...thank you for giving me challenges and reminding me what you have for me in this life. So many things have been going on, and changing, and lord i dont know whats going on but i am so thankful that you do.
Forgive me Lord for not being jealous about being in your word. I am letting other things fall in the way and that is going to stop. thank you so much for convicting me of that because i know it wasn't me...help my attitude with everything Lord...i feel so frustrated, and depressed lately but i know there is no reason for it! You take such good care of us that I KNOW you have it all under control. I ask that you would just give Nicholas and I wisdom as we decide on the next steps you have given us, that you show us perfectly where we fit, and that it would be a smooth transition.
Help us not worry about everything , especially when it seems so easy to do so. Lord I lift up Nicholas. I know that he is even more burdened then I about this. I ask that you would give him peace, and strength to know that you are there for him! That you have him under your wing and that you are growing him through this time of questioning, and seemingly quietness from heaven. Lord help us be right in living for you. to stay pure and to be an example to the teens and the others we have in our lives who are searching for you. I want so badly to get out of this lull and to go back to what I know you have. Lord I want to be a good pastors wife, and i want to be an encouragement to my fiance. I feel like i am such a failure at that... How can i be good at it if i am not getting any encouragement from your word? Lord help me to stand on your feet when it comes to this, and not try to think that my relationship with you is good just because Nicholas prays for us...I need to be lifting us up, i need to be lifting our future up...
It's been a long time coming lord this conviction has been hiting me and i pray it would hit me everyday that I would be in your word wanting it more and more as i become a wife soon, and then lord prayerfully a mother shortly after that...You have all of this in your will and I am excited to see what you have for us. Lord i am truthfully wondering what is going to happen, but i just keep going back to the fact you have never let us down before and i trust you wont let us down now.
Lord i just want to lift up my sister as she just found out she is expecting. Lord how exciting it is that i will have another neice or nephew. i cannot WAIT to see what she is going to have. Lord i pray that you would keep mommy and baby safe, that you would allow rachel to love her body and see that this is a gift from you Lord.
I also pray for the rest of the family. Elijah, cat, and elias Lord that they would have someone in their life that would show them you. It is so important and i wish i was there more often. Lord give me opportunity to share my testimony. to be truthful about what you have done in my life.
God i am so sick of being a fake person, of pretending our relationship is fine, when i feel so far from you. lies dont help if they grow people because its still a lie... help me figure out where I am and how i need to change..
Thank you Lord for always being there ..regardless of how alone i feel I know i am not because you are near. (Even when thats hard because i know im an idiot) ...
I love you Lord. Thank you so much for all the blessings you have put in my life. I cannot thank you enough for Nicholas, and this new family i will be going into....I am amazed at the life you have planned for me...
Thank you again!
thank you so much for this day that has gone by...thank you for giving me challenges and reminding me what you have for me in this life. So many things have been going on, and changing, and lord i dont know whats going on but i am so thankful that you do.
Forgive me Lord for not being jealous about being in your word. I am letting other things fall in the way and that is going to stop. thank you so much for convicting me of that because i know it wasn't me...help my attitude with everything Lord...i feel so frustrated, and depressed lately but i know there is no reason for it! You take such good care of us that I KNOW you have it all under control. I ask that you would just give Nicholas and I wisdom as we decide on the next steps you have given us, that you show us perfectly where we fit, and that it would be a smooth transition.
Help us not worry about everything , especially when it seems so easy to do so. Lord I lift up Nicholas. I know that he is even more burdened then I about this. I ask that you would give him peace, and strength to know that you are there for him! That you have him under your wing and that you are growing him through this time of questioning, and seemingly quietness from heaven. Lord help us be right in living for you. to stay pure and to be an example to the teens and the others we have in our lives who are searching for you. I want so badly to get out of this lull and to go back to what I know you have. Lord I want to be a good pastors wife, and i want to be an encouragement to my fiance. I feel like i am such a failure at that... How can i be good at it if i am not getting any encouragement from your word? Lord help me to stand on your feet when it comes to this, and not try to think that my relationship with you is good just because Nicholas prays for us...I need to be lifting us up, i need to be lifting our future up...
It's been a long time coming lord this conviction has been hiting me and i pray it would hit me everyday that I would be in your word wanting it more and more as i become a wife soon, and then lord prayerfully a mother shortly after that...You have all of this in your will and I am excited to see what you have for us. Lord i am truthfully wondering what is going to happen, but i just keep going back to the fact you have never let us down before and i trust you wont let us down now.
Lord i just want to lift up my sister as she just found out she is expecting. Lord how exciting it is that i will have another neice or nephew. i cannot WAIT to see what she is going to have. Lord i pray that you would keep mommy and baby safe, that you would allow rachel to love her body and see that this is a gift from you Lord.
I also pray for the rest of the family. Elijah, cat, and elias Lord that they would have someone in their life that would show them you. It is so important and i wish i was there more often. Lord give me opportunity to share my testimony. to be truthful about what you have done in my life.
God i am so sick of being a fake person, of pretending our relationship is fine, when i feel so far from you. lies dont help if they grow people because its still a lie... help me figure out where I am and how i need to change..
Thank you Lord for always being there ..regardless of how alone i feel I know i am not because you are near. (Even when thats hard because i know im an idiot) ...
I love you Lord. Thank you so much for all the blessings you have put in my life. I cannot thank you enough for Nicholas, and this new family i will be going into....I am amazed at the life you have planned for me...
Thank you again!
Monday, April 14, 2014
Hmm
Lord,
I just thank you so much for all that you are doing in my life. It is amazing that I am going to be married in 75 days. God...thank you for reminding me who you are, and what you have for us. It is so difficult sometimes because God I don't want to trust you sometimes. I don't know why....but I want to do it my way so often. I know that's not the way it should be. God i sometimes want so badly to be in the leaders seat. I want to sit on the throne.
HELP ME trust you Lord. I know it feels like I Say this all the time but oh...I really need the strength you can give alone...because things are great but at the same time Lord It feels like its all going to be too much to handle.
I just thank you so much for all that you are doing in my life. It is amazing that I am going to be married in 75 days. God...thank you for reminding me who you are, and what you have for us. It is so difficult sometimes because God I don't want to trust you sometimes. I don't know why....but I want to do it my way so often. I know that's not the way it should be. God i sometimes want so badly to be in the leaders seat. I want to sit on the throne.
HELP ME trust you Lord. I know it feels like I Say this all the time but oh...I really need the strength you can give alone...because things are great but at the same time Lord It feels like its all going to be too much to handle.
Friday, March 21, 2014
99 Days
Lord,
I just want to thank you for everything you have done for me these past couple of days, and what you have done for nicholas. Lord i love him so much, But i dont want to love him more then I love you! Thank you for giving me my friends that I Still talk to. I am missing them so much but I know you have me here for a reason! Help me be an encouragment to Nicholas, and not hinder him from what you have him to do because Lord that is something that scares me. I do not ever want to hinder him from doing ministry. This is one of my biggest burdens right now Lord. HELP ME encourage this man to do everything he can do for you, and not worry about my emotions or feelings in it at the time..because emotions are so fleeting....
Lord in 99 days I will be marrying my best friend! I will be able to kiss him, to love him as my husband, and not just my best friend. I cannot wait until that day Lord. Please help us get all of the information that we need to get together for this. Help us be as put together as possible.
Sometimes I feel so far from you Lord, and I know that's my fault...I know that I am not digging as much as possible, that I am not trying like I should be and I apologize...so Lord please Help me. Help me be the person you want me to be..and dig into your word like my life depends on it.
I lift up my friends Lord. I get so frustrated with the stupid decisions...but I dont know how to say that without hurting people and Lord that is the last thing i want to do. Help me with decisions I need to make but am afraid to... i love you Lord
I just want to thank you for everything you have done for me these past couple of days, and what you have done for nicholas. Lord i love him so much, But i dont want to love him more then I love you! Thank you for giving me my friends that I Still talk to. I am missing them so much but I know you have me here for a reason! Help me be an encouragment to Nicholas, and not hinder him from what you have him to do because Lord that is something that scares me. I do not ever want to hinder him from doing ministry. This is one of my biggest burdens right now Lord. HELP ME encourage this man to do everything he can do for you, and not worry about my emotions or feelings in it at the time..because emotions are so fleeting....
Lord in 99 days I will be marrying my best friend! I will be able to kiss him, to love him as my husband, and not just my best friend. I cannot wait until that day Lord. Please help us get all of the information that we need to get together for this. Help us be as put together as possible.
Sometimes I feel so far from you Lord, and I know that's my fault...I know that I am not digging as much as possible, that I am not trying like I should be and I apologize...so Lord please Help me. Help me be the person you want me to be..and dig into your word like my life depends on it.
I lift up my friends Lord. I get so frustrated with the stupid decisions...but I dont know how to say that without hurting people and Lord that is the last thing i want to do. Help me with decisions I need to make but am afraid to... i love you Lord
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Fail
Lord,
I am so sorry for being such a failure. I know it is expected of us to fail, it's who we are..it's why we need you. Lord I come to you confessing my foolish heart to you. Please forgive me of the stupidity that has happened today, and every moment I take my eyes off of you Lord.
God right now I just want to lift up my friends groomsman Collin. Not sure of all the details but Lord he needs you! John has been a faithful witness, and he will continue to be.. I pray that you will set up other people around Collin who love the Lord like John does. That He would come to see how a relationship with you is the best wedding present he could give.
Lord, I would appreciate if you could help me find a job..I have been asking other people to pray but it occurs to me that I have yet to really ask you about it. come to you and want your wisdom. God i need to get out, I need to do things...I am lost here, I love it but its so had and i need friends, people to talk to..things to do.. I need to make money
I know you have everything in control Lord...I just need to believe that.and it's so hard for me sometimes.. please help my unbelief.
I need a friend. or maybe you are teaching me just to rely on you..that I need to run to you first before i go to anyone else...
*Sigh* I learn the hard way Lord, and you know that about me....
Thank you for everything you are doing in our lives Lord. I ask you would continue to give us ideas about the wedding, that you would help us be wise with the money we do have God, that you would help me be faithful in everything we have to do. That I wouldn't let myself get to frustrated when all I want to do is complain.
I need you Lord. Thank you for helping us stay pure. I am so thankful for this.
I want to lift up my friends as they continue to help get ready for the wedding, as they go about their lives. Lord i just....I want to lift up our future ministry. everything seems so scary, so uncertain but again I know who is in control....Thank you for being willing to allow us to learn through these things. Help Nicholas stay strong, and continue to believe you have the best. Lord i know He is scared but he is doing so well trusting you..much better then me. continually reminding me how good you are and his love for you word. Lord I desire to be like that again. I don't know why i have lost it but i need it back..help me want your word more then ever..before I feed myself, before i take a drink in the morning....I want to drink from your word, be fed from your word...
I lift up the teens....God i love them so much, I want them to grow to be closer to you..and it's so frustrating when it seems like they aren't listening. Lord i just ask that you would give them conviction in their hearts..that they would want to truly grow closer to you and that they would act on that yearning.
.....Lord help me be more like you!
I love you
I am so sorry for being such a failure. I know it is expected of us to fail, it's who we are..it's why we need you. Lord I come to you confessing my foolish heart to you. Please forgive me of the stupidity that has happened today, and every moment I take my eyes off of you Lord.
God right now I just want to lift up my friends groomsman Collin. Not sure of all the details but Lord he needs you! John has been a faithful witness, and he will continue to be.. I pray that you will set up other people around Collin who love the Lord like John does. That He would come to see how a relationship with you is the best wedding present he could give.
Lord, I would appreciate if you could help me find a job..I have been asking other people to pray but it occurs to me that I have yet to really ask you about it. come to you and want your wisdom. God i need to get out, I need to do things...I am lost here, I love it but its so had and i need friends, people to talk to..things to do.. I need to make money
I know you have everything in control Lord...I just need to believe that.and it's so hard for me sometimes.. please help my unbelief.
I need a friend. or maybe you are teaching me just to rely on you..that I need to run to you first before i go to anyone else...
*Sigh* I learn the hard way Lord, and you know that about me....
Thank you for everything you are doing in our lives Lord. I ask you would continue to give us ideas about the wedding, that you would help us be wise with the money we do have God, that you would help me be faithful in everything we have to do. That I wouldn't let myself get to frustrated when all I want to do is complain.
I need you Lord. Thank you for helping us stay pure. I am so thankful for this.
I want to lift up my friends as they continue to help get ready for the wedding, as they go about their lives. Lord i just....I want to lift up our future ministry. everything seems so scary, so uncertain but again I know who is in control....Thank you for being willing to allow us to learn through these things. Help Nicholas stay strong, and continue to believe you have the best. Lord i know He is scared but he is doing so well trusting you..much better then me. continually reminding me how good you are and his love for you word. Lord I desire to be like that again. I don't know why i have lost it but i need it back..help me want your word more then ever..before I feed myself, before i take a drink in the morning....I want to drink from your word, be fed from your word...
I lift up the teens....God i love them so much, I want them to grow to be closer to you..and it's so frustrating when it seems like they aren't listening. Lord i just ask that you would give them conviction in their hearts..that they would want to truly grow closer to you and that they would act on that yearning.
.....Lord help me be more like you!
I love you
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Growing pains
Lord,
Thank you so much for my fiance, and just the wisdom He has in what you have for us. thank you for reminding us that you are growing us, making us trust you...because the future we have is going to be one in where we need you every second of everyday we need to be trusting you...
God I am scared about our wedding how it's going to turn out...I am afraid for our future with money...Lord I am trying so hard to find a job.and nothing seems to be coming together for me here. What are you trying to tell me? I am earnestly asking...and begging for an answer.because Lord I want to know what you have for our future. Is it just to trust with what we have right now? and to know that you are in control? God I am going to trust you because I know how good you are and how you do what is best for us.
Thank you so much for my fiance, and just the wisdom He has in what you have for us. thank you for reminding us that you are growing us, making us trust you...because the future we have is going to be one in where we need you every second of everyday we need to be trusting you...
God I am scared about our wedding how it's going to turn out...I am afraid for our future with money...Lord I am trying so hard to find a job.and nothing seems to be coming together for me here. What are you trying to tell me? I am earnestly asking...and begging for an answer.because Lord I want to know what you have for our future. Is it just to trust with what we have right now? and to know that you are in control? God I am going to trust you because I know how good you are and how you do what is best for us.
Lord in other ways I am so excited for our future because regardless of what happens we are going to be together and that is the most important of all things... Help me grow closer to you....I know that I have such little faith..especially with everything going on.Help me with that.
Nicholas is the most caring most wonderful patient man, and I am such a hard thing for him sometimes. I deff challange him and Lord..Help him grow lord and help me grow so that I can allow him to grow. I do not want to hinder him and our ministry...Lord that terrifies me.
I want to lift up everyone involved in the wedding....Lord help them from this moment forward even just having their hearts prepared for what you are going to do that day. I pray that the people who aren't saved that are going Lord would just understand exactly what you have for them...and that you would allow them to see your love for what it is...and allow our love to be a picture of that Love....
ooh Lord....give me wisdom in the ways that i talk to people...people want my opinions, and they want my thoughts but i want to give yours oh God...
I want to give yours
<3
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
The beginning
Lord,
It's funny...sometimes how easy it is not to pray..and I am so sorry for that. It is hard for me to imagine how easy it is..and then i go days without talking to you..more then a couple minutes anyway...and I am so sorry for that. forgive me for being so foolish, and thinking that I can live my life fine...and not be in your word, and not be in fellowship with you.
It's funny...sometimes how easy it is not to pray..and I am so sorry for that. It is hard for me to imagine how easy it is..and then i go days without talking to you..more then a couple minutes anyway...and I am so sorry for that. forgive me for being so foolish, and thinking that I can live my life fine...and not be in your word, and not be in fellowship with you.
I am so thankful Lord that you have given me Nicholas so that he can call me out when my prayer life is crap...because, if my prayer life is crap then it shows through in everything else.....I usually write in a prayer journal...I don't have one so this will certainly do :)
Thank you Lord for marriage counseling today! I am so thankful for all that I am learning. I am scared about marriage..I don't know what we are getting ourselves into..and sometimes I Want to run..but I know that this is what you have for us God..and that excites me...still scares me a little bit i am not going to lie.
Help me be the fiance, and more importantly the wife that He needs to make him a good pastor and a better man of God.
Help me understand what it's like to be a pastor, and better understand what it will be like to be a pastors wife. I feel so overwhelmed with all the things going on... planning for the wedding, not having friends here, not having a job...Lord I don't understand but I know that you know everything that's going on and why it is going on.... I am going to trust you...
Help my friends makes wise decisions..I don't know how to stand up and say that this is right and this is wrong...and that most likely makes me a fool and i am just afraid to tell the the truth...Help me stop living in fear....I want to do whats best for you lord, and whats best for them...*sigh*
I love you Lord...Thank you for everything.
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